@Brianhopecomedy: Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair.
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@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person
@ThaJawn: (Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!
@TheAlexNevil: Her: I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you *she stabs me Me:..but...you...didn't...tell...me She: Yes I did. You never listen.