@OhNoSheTwitnt: Just saw the first robin of the year so you know what that means. Batman can't be far behind.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology.
@MarfSalvador: me: my father went out for cigarettes ten years ago and- sloth dad: *opening door* forgot my wallet
@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. When I’m at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest strength is, I want to say, “I push myself.”