@robwhisman: just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio
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@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"
@ilovepie84: I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: 🎶 You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. Life gets worse when you're an adult. 🎶