@BeingDBEAST: Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out
@notacroc: DOCTOR: what were you thinking? He had a sword. ME: *bleeding everywhere, clutching my favorite pen* that's not how it's supposed to work
@GrowlyGrego: My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning.
@GrillinChillin9: You really could help childhood obesity by eliminating school zone speed limits. Make those little chubsters run when they see a car coming.