@GaryJanetti: Just saw you on the beach and think you might look better in something that covers you a bit more. Like your car.
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@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family.
@Goofpoops: Life hack : Receive a wide assortment of yellow, orange, pink and red envelopes, free of charge, simply by not paying your bills.