@lilpwoppa: Just seen a woman in town with lipgloss so sticky she had 16 flies attached to her mouth.
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@STOTLE: If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash
@DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old said he wants to go to JFK for some chicken. He won't be majoring in history.
@jonnysun: date: so wat do u wana do next me: why dont we slip into somthing more…convertible [climbs into ferrari] date: omg wow is this ur car me: no