@lilpwoppa: Just seen a woman in town with lipgloss so sticky she had 16 flies attached to her mouth.
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@kumailn: Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not.
@SergioValenCo: I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears.
@FinallyHeSleeps: I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that group of sexually repressed potheads who kept talking to their great dane.