@lilpwoppa: Just seen a woman in town with lipgloss so sticky she had 16 flies attached to her mouth.
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@MartaEffing: [1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*
@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@Demented_Jokes: The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club.
@sad_tree: *sees guy ordering pizza* "With onion" (Ok) "Sausage" (Nice) "Mushroom" (Hell yea) "Chk" (Plz) "Meatballs" (Why) "Anchovies" (Ur dead to me)