@marebytes: Just shared w/ my son the amazing story of a boy who wanted to go to his friend's house & didn't get to go & yet everybody lived in the end.
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@spiritusloquens: My fortune cookie: "Like a hair on a bar of soap, you're likely harmless, but regarded as disgusting and nobody likes you..."
@McGunnersite: We are gathered here today because Somebody "glares at coffin " couldn't stay alive.
@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.