@garrettbarry70: Just shook a piece of cellophane off my finger and now I'm exhausted.
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
@Thynebear: I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom.
@PaperWash: [interview at a clothing store] be cool, don't let them know you're a dog "so what color is this dress?" oh you gotta be kidding me
@LuckoftheDraw86: *hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it.