@DomesticGoddss: Just showed my 4 yo niece that I can still do a cartwheel and now she is showing me where the ice packs are.
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@Contwixt: Why go through the trouble of becoming an astronaut when you could just put a plastic bag over your head and roll down a hill in a freezer?
@RexHuppke: BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota
@CYComedy: My goal weight is for my waiter to ask me if I want a salad with my meal without bursting into laughter.