@LoveNLunchmeat: Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@batkaren: KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week
@jnrbtsn: The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
@illuminatedwndr: I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore