@Adyaces: Just slammed my foot on the pedal trying to impress a girl. Turns out she'd seen a bin opened like that before.
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@DanMentos: *rings bell* "Can I help you?" Yes I'd like a dragon on my back an- *starts pooping on a crucifix* WTF? *checks sign on door* "Taboo Artist"
@BradBroaddus: Wife must be planning to paint the house. I found plastic & tape under our bed. Not sure what the shovel & pistol are for.
@the_anastasia: If you're afraid of getting fat, drink a little before eating. The alcohol should reduce the fear.