@Adyaces: Just slammed my foot on the pedal trying to impress a girl. Turns out she'd seen a bin opened like that before.
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@GianDoh: Bartender: What'll It be? Stephen King: A novel at first, then a tv miniseries, then a movie.
@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert
@DaHess1: Shout out to bicyclists that yell "on your left" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with.