@Adyaces: Just slammed my foot on the pedal trying to impress a girl. Turns out she'd seen a bin opened like that before.
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@dumbbeezie: Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside
@doktorj: Me: Good night Moon Moon: Me, climbing out of lunar module two weeks later: Did you get my text?!
@upsidedowntrash: [1st Row at Beyoncé Concert] Beyoncé: Who run da world?! *points mic at me* ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] …squirrels?