@Adyaces: Just slammed my foot on the pedal trying to impress a girl. Turns out she'd seen a bin opened like that before.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bridger_w: If I had a dog I'd say "I have a bone to pick with you!" and then we'd go to PetSmart to pick a bone and we'd laugh & laugh & can dogs laugh
@davidschneider: God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how's 2016 been? Did you cope OK? Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine.