@BlackCatBettie: "Just so you know, you're coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
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@mstluvstrinkets: You Shook Me All Night Long is a great song that also describes what I do to my husband when he's snoring.
@KelFocker: A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"