@BlackCatBettie: "Just so you know, you're coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
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@IncrediblyRich: If Bob The Builder's slogan is "Can he fix it?" then he's not really a builder is he? More of a repairman.
@Sam_Alan33: Staying at a hotel tonight which means I get to play everyone's favorite game: Are you smarter than a new shower?
@LosLos__: Interviewer: What is your greatest strength? Me: I have a nap for dealing with conflict. Intvr: Do you mean "knack"? *pulls out pillow*
@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.