@_wendyb07: Just some repair guys and me at work right now. If a pizza delivery guy and a director show up, I'm leaving.
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@jwoodham: Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no.
@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.
@EndhooS: *Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!