@bananagrvyrd: Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them.
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@FilthyRichmond: Starbucks should have a separate line for people who don't know what they want or how the world works.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Dr's office] "I have Carrie like reflexes" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire* No