@bananagrvyrd: Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them.
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@PaperWash: The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat.
@buckweiser13: Being nice to people who don't deserve it is exhausting, but the feeling at the end of the day, when you're not in jail for murder, is nice.
@StellaGMaddox: My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend.