@illuminatedwndr: just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I'm so confused
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@Chumpstring: My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace.
@KalvinMacleod: A fun way to make things uncomfortable at work is to buy a box of donuts for everyone but keep them on your lap.
@RefractReality: I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.
@Vodkantots: I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young.