@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
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@mattsurely: My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go
@DumbConfessions: *jumps from plane* *forgets parachute* *grabs onto flying squirrel* *lives to tell the tale*
@djdarrellripley: Her: I can't cook because, I "believe" I can't cook. And you want to know what makes me believe that? Me: The arrival of the paramedics?
@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband claims I’m driving him to an early grave, which is clearly ridiculous because nobody has ever been early to anything I’ve driven them to.