@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Mom: Some stranger keeps answering your land line. Me: That's because I haven't had a land line in 7 years, Ma.
@RoxiieHart: Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.