@Dishy2101: Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
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@envydatropic: I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car
@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
@Book_Krazy: Teacher: Why are you late? Boy: My fish died. Teacher: What fish? Boy: You don't know him he goes to different school.