@SuSuSuDonym: Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
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@noog: If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity.
@copymama: Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.
@electrolemon: scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. "weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"
@alextranquada: We gave DanceBot a machete as a joke. No one could have predicted the rhythmic horror that came next.