@briangaar: Just tell ISIS we have pizza and when they knock on the door, shoot them
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@WheelTod: I once accidentally broke up with a girl on a broken-down train, when I said "I don't think this is going anywhere."
@robyn_vo: Watched the movie Gravity tonight. Didn't see as much gravity as I expected. Two thumbs down based on that.
@KKAlThani: I make the stupidest excuses just to skip the gym. *burns tongue while drinking coffee* "Oh no! I really wanted to go to the gym today!"
@DadandBuried: "Try it, it's so good!" "Come on, man. Just a taste." "I'm having some. Mmmm." "Trust me." Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer.