@Cheeseboy22: Overheard in 2nd grade class today:
"Do your work! Santa's watching right now."
"Yeah, my mom told me that ship has sailed for me long ago."
@_youhadonejob: Not the best name for an apple employee.
@gorrdano: Sorry, I'm using all 43 grocery carts. Use a basket.
@CatherineLMK: "Damnit!"
-a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.
@Donna_McCoy: If you want to piss off a narcissist, just tell 'em that subtweet wasn't about them.
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