@thejodiest: Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sean_Burgundy_: My 40 yard dash time: 5.5 My 40 yard dash time after seeing my gf with my phone in her hands: 4.3
@MiddleageM: Heard my mom tell my dad to "stop tossing her salad" at the dinner table and now I can't look at either one of them without laughing...
@Carbosly: When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Your resume says you're paranoid." Me: "My resume has been talking behind my back?"