@atthecubicle: Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid.
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@HousewifeOfHell: Fluffy towels that don't absorb anything but just move water around on your body are the devil's handiwork.
@WilliamRodgers: When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
@SuperApple8: Me: BARTENDER! Bring me another beer. Him: Mom, I'm doing my homework. Me: *claps* Star! Him: I hate Twitter. Me: *belch* blocked.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Got a hot date this weekend? Coworker: Ummm...no. Me: I know. I was just reminding you. Coworker....