@atthecubicle: Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid.
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@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.
@Probablyrad: Today's kids will never know how it felt to give your computer AIDS just for free music
@Aspersioncast: If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does.
@Ndeshi_M: Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black.