@SondraDeeMe: "Just the tip," I whisper seductively to the pizza delivery guy, hoping he fulfills my fantasy of not charging me for the pizza.
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@MatCro: GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: … G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair
@DurtMcHurtt: [intensive care] NURSE: I'll never leave your side, DO YOU HEAR ME?! ME [patient]: wow, I didn't realize how intense the care was here.