@Amburglar_: Just think: right now, your body is cookin' up some poop.
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@jordan_stratton: Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt.
@bigmacher: I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday.
@SatansTongue: The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs! *puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water* *water turns into wine* Thank u Jesus