@PyrBliss: Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts.
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@iGreenMonk: Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide. Which makes me want to twoot myself in the face.
@i_wasnt_looking: Pharmacy employee you're too unhappy for someone who is in control of all the drugs.
@Jagershot901: Hot singles in your area want you to come over and load their dishwasher correctly.
@michaeljhudson: *dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*