@Oh_God_Why_Me: Just told my driving instructor to put his seat belt ON for his safety. I'm definitely going to get the license this time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat.
@hippieswordfish: robber: give me the money! *points gun at cashier* cashier: wait thats just a blow dryer nervous snowman patron: please just do as he says!
@bridger_w: At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of