@stockejock: Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :(
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@ArfMeasures:  ME:Make it enormous "But if I paint a red cross on ur door, ppl will think you've got the plague & never visit" ME:Make it enormous
@abbycohenwl: Doc: The good news is this is a surprise birthday party! Patient: But my birthday's not till next month Doc:Which brings me to the bad news
@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@HeatherLuvsYou: I've never considered myself a social butterfly. More like a social wasp. People run away a lot.