@Goldishocks: Just told my kids they had to share. Now they are dressed in long blacks wigs singing if I could turn back time.
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@TashyP_: Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it's probably just as well real lightsabers aren't available yet.
@withanewname: "Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy." "Try wearing the wife's panties." "Really?" "Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"
@pixelatedboat: When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton.
@Dr_awfulpants: [Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.