@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.
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@ehchinoo: Teach a man to shake and he will be able to greet everyone. Give a man a shake and all the boys will come to his yard
@Phook75: Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear
@SeeEllVee: Just watched a guy walk out of the tanning place and immediately light a cigarette. Slow down, buddy. Don't get all the cancer today!