@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.
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@UncleDuke1969: “You gotta try the lobs-” - I’ll should tell you… “Yes?” - We’re not having sex. “OK.” - What were you saying? “The chicken here’s great.”
@abrianmc: I covered my gf with dough and raisins and put her in the oven to annoy her. Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed