@badbanana: Just tore seven ligaments trying to avoid being handed the phone by my wife.
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@ClichedOut: "Opps" is my favorite typo because it suggests the thrill of a secret counterinsurgency.
@fro_vo: Me: trump keeps obfuscating the truth Wife: i see you learned a new word Me: i obfuscately did Wife: Me: what are we obfuscating for dinner
@truegritrumble: SPOUSE: No. ME: It’s just a costume. SPOUSE: You’re not going to your parents’ Halloween party as “the child they wished they had.”
@rolldiggity: Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!