@illTortuga: Just tried to cook something from scratch and ended up summoning a demon.
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@matt___nelson: "If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-" SHE ONCE COMMENTED 'FIRST' ON A YOUTUBE VIDEO *ring bearer vomits*
@Lowenaffchen: Hey girl.. you ready to [loudly toward the door] TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL *roommate sends in R/C truck with a bunch of condoms taped to it*
@oakhillbargrill: Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions