@theshamingofjay: Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.
@BlackCatBettie: I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.