@theshamingofjay: Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat.
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@fro_vo: Abe Lincoln: write this down Mary: ok Abe Lincoln: fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…okay read it back Mary: this down
@SondraDeeMe: [in bed] BF: Why are you scared? ME: Cuz your Mom's here BF: She's not bad *Mom hands me pregnancy test* This better be positive by sunrise
@Thedudish: Is it true animals can sense danger? The cat's been wearing a helmet all week, and it makes me nervous.