@theshamingofjay: Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat.
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@littlestp123: boys love girls who go barefoot in the summer and comment on the texture of grass and say "ouch rocks" when walking on rocks
@PaperWash: HAHA! Answer your phone silly. I called you like 18 times. -I say as I climb through your window
@SortaBad: "Brian did you remove some of the thread from your shirt logo?" Me: [clearly enjoying people calling me the Hug Boss] what? No probably not
@eddiesteadyno: at library ME: This book wasn't helpful at all! LIBRARIAN: Why? What's the problem? BIRD: [mockingly] "Why? What's the problem?"