@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@haleysfalling: I've decided that I'm going to start texting people back. That's it. That's the joke.
@Rollinintheseat: When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there.
@BlairLoudly: A xenophobe eh? I'm scared of the warrior princess too but I wouldn't call it a phobia.