@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
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@MarfSalvador: [in line at store] her: oh no I don't have enough money me: hey hey [touches her hand] put your wallet away her: are you sure? me: yeah, it's hideous
@d_duhwit: *worm surgeon beside worm in hospital bed." Doc:" Surgery went good but the floor was slippery and long story short you have a son now."