@SardonicTart: Just vacuumed my couch and found 16 bobby pins, 84 cents, 3 kinds of cereal, a spoon and a live hedgehog.
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@hamspamtymaam: Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know.
@NicestHippo: If you're going to call people who aren't yet born "the unborn" then you have to call people who aren't yet dead "the undead"
@longwall26: It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.
@shutupmikeginn: Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school.