@SardonicTart: Just vacuumed my couch and found 16 bobby pins, 84 cents, 3 kinds of cereal, a spoon and a live hedgehog.
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@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses
@FeelingEuphoric: villain: ironic that the one who shot you is your English professor! me *dying*: actually it's coincidental v *tearing up*: ...you passed