@SardonicTart: Just vacuumed my couch and found 16 bobby pins, 84 cents, 3 kinds of cereal, a spoon and a live hedgehog.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *spreads arms wide* I love you this much. Me: Aw. 5: *spreads arms even wider* But I'd love you this much if we had a pool.
@DirtMcTurd: A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register