@Lisa_Laughs_: Just waiting to hear those three special words... "there's no evidence."
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@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@ObscureGent: Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt.
@withanewname: "Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working." "What kind are you using?" "Grape"
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is