@the_rock_chic: Just walking down the "Gluten Free" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts.
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@AnkCoupleTO: I tattooed the word "WINNER" on my forehead in case I meet anyone new and they have any doubts
@KingRainhead: friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me
@thejessbess: I always wear running shoes while driving because you won't know what the terrain will be like until after the cop pulls you over.
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .