@mochanya: Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Just for once I wanna be able to say "It wasn't my fault" without 4 people breaking down why it was my fault
@philefanaddict: The babysitter wanted $25.00 an hour this weekend, so I just bought my kid an iPad instead.
@ArfMeasures: [Looking round a museum] ME: Hey Patricia, have you seen this pterodactyl? DATE: Yeah, but *smiles* you don't pronounce the p ME: Oh God I'm such an idiot! I feel stupid now, Atricia
@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."