@mochanya: Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?
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@CoopFogg: When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I'm a pretty princess". And they do. And I am.
@kerihw: Scientist: But WHY is the bee population dying? Scientist: No idea. *eats bee* Scientist: Did you just eat a bee? Scientist: *eats bee* No.
@flashember: Desperate, I pull a goose from my bag and throw it screaming into the bully's face. Gertrude, my biggest and angriest goose, destroys him.