@tpurvis06: Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.
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@OtherDanOBrien: ME: (signing) What color are apples? BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors
@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .