@jtswhipped: Just watched Inception,Donnie Darko,Memento and The Matrix and now I don't think I am real anymore.
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@SteveKoehler22: I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts.
@SeptapusDenny: CNN writer: how's this - my phone is missing. CNN exec: meh Writer: It was on AIRPLANE mode! *CNN exec absolutely loses it*
@Mr_Kapowski: Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon