@House_Feminist: Just when I thought we'd avoided all controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner my niece said Aristocats was better than The Lion King
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@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
@jonnysun: giv a man a fish adn he'll say "wat is this i ordered a mcflurry" teach a man to fish adn he'll say "how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"
@Ms_Moneypenny_: Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.