@CranalBeads: just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair
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@Jessdaisy: I'm "the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room" years old
@colesprouse: It's not a good date unless it ends with you slowly walking off into the ocean like Godzilla.
@Fickle_Filly: The puffer fish spends days creating a beautiful boudoir in which to lure a mate and I just want a man who can load the dishwasher properly.