@CranalBeads: just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair
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@SuSuSuDonym: If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made.
@DaddyJew: Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was "we really shouldn't be talking about this".
@OhMyBlondie: If you have your Twitter account linked to Facebook I don't think you understand what it is we do here.
@weinerdog4life: Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart.