@TitaniumToplass: Just wrote "except for you, spiders >:(" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that
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@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@ObscureGent: Me: Is that a web tattoo on your elbow because you like Spider-Man? Them: Naw, I killed 5 people Me: so you don't like Spider-Man?
@jimmytorosian: What are you listening to? The Who Who? Yes You're listening to Yes? No The Who Oh I like them No not Them. The band is The Who. The Band?
@velvettusk: ♫ Is this the real life? Are you a manatee? Let’s beat up french fries I should lay off the LSD ♫