@DevinSiebold: Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin.
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@vineyille: FBI: I can’t unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised
@daemonic3: The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco
@DougStanhope: I'm watching a guy on tv who makes a living simply by having opinions about hockey wondering which one of us is the bigger pile of shit.