@buck4itt: Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them.
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@david8hughes: Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden? Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure.
@Qu4rtKn33: Women who draw in their eyebrows are making a serious decision about what mood they're in for the rest of that day.
@Pirate_nurse: If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven't gotten my period."
@sameblacklist: If Eve sacrificed the whole human race for an apple, have you ever wondered what she would have done for a cucumber?