@TheFakeCNN: Justin Bieber only pretends to retire on Twitter, worst Christmas ever.
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@salamingia: I prepare my daughter for disappointment by always giving her the iPad with a 4% charge.
@sixthformpoet: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves.
@pizza_dragon: Hi kids I'm Keanu Reeves here to tell you that speed is never cool unless you're a professional SWAT member on a bus that's about to blow up