@kolchak: Justin Bieber songs are much more enjoyable when you replace the word "girl" with "gerbil".
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@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?
@boring_as_heck: "hey we use animals for literally everything else in our lives. lets use our feet for cars." idiot flintstones. no wonder you're extinct.
@AGStr8upNinja: She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.