@TheTweetOfGod: Justin Bieber's career died for your sins.
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@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@ItsAndyRyan: GYM Man: "Can you spot me?" Me: "Sure" Man: *Throwing down towel* "Invisibility cloak my ass"
@ShesARealGenius: *Asteroid is hurtling toward Earth* ESPN Broadcaster: This asteroid could have an enormous impact on the playoffs.