@TheTweetOfGod: Justin Bieber's career died for your sins.
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@ClichedOut: *getting murdered* Me: *pointing to murderer's t-shirt* Ha ha, you went to a Justin Bieber concert
@ibid78: [internet] if u liked this story on cows dressed as plumbers.. [me] I did [i] here's a story on panda cops [barely containing my glee] go on
@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@drinksmcgee: Coworker 1: I’m sick. Everyone stay away from me. Me: Yeah, everyone stay away from me as well. Coworker 2: Oh, are you sick too? Me: No.