@TheTweetOfGod: Justin Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.
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@envydatropic: Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now
@LisaMcAlister1: There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job.
@robdelaney: I'm literally typing this from atop a giraffe in Ghana. Her name is Coriander & we love each other.