@MikalBershawn: *Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*
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@Prof_Peejay: Me: "You flunked the labs & the midterm. You need 154% in the final to pass." Him: "So there's still a chance?" Me: "Let me ask my unicorn."
@thenoahkinsey: I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason.
@KenJennings: Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you're fooling?