@MikalBershawn: *Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*
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@jonnysun: phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget
@jazmasta: Just been doing some DIY using my stepladder. Not my real ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
@PyrBliss: Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts.
@joejwest: [vet school] ME: Welcome, students. Hope you brought textbooks because- [spins cat on finger like basketball] -I have no idea what I'm doing