@MikalBershawn: *Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*
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@Shock_Monster: Dance like no one is watching you while secretly videotaping to later be posted on YouTube so you become the latest worldwide laughing stock
@KLobstar: [seaside wedding] We are gathered here today to celebrate the- [bride picked up by giant seagull] -completion of the ritual. HAIL GULLTHRAX
@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.
@DurtMcHurtt: "They're like a sponge at this age" I say to the parents of the baby I'm using to scrub dishes with.