@AdderallMomma: Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas.
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@LuckoftheDraw86: Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
@jdforshort: "Hitting it hard as shit" and "tickling the hole" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today
@sirmunchie: Me: I'll write u a haiku! Her: I'm just impressed u know how to spell haiku. Me: *deletes "how to spell high-koo" from browser history*