@AdderallMomma: Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas.
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@murrman5: do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth "starting now?" yes "the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"
@_Enanem_: I thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to go to a Monkees' concert in Switzerland, then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva.
@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.