@seanyeatts: Kanye West at the Sistine Chapel, amazed that it was painted by a Ninja Turtle.
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@iamspacegirl: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard.
@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@pmann555: They say it's not the destination, it's the journey.........Except when you're heading to the bathroom with diarrhea...
@_TayTayJustine: How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool